Helix;Ron Moore;contagion;medical thriller;Syfy

Helix: "Dans L'ombre" (Season 1, Episode 13)

 

Tonight’s review begins with a special announcement: SyFy is officially that hard up. Carcass ratings or not, Helix has been renewed for a second season. I’m not sure what that that calls for, but… congratulations?

 

At least it won’t be pretending to be underground in the Arctic anymore. Big, cheap looking explosions have seen to that.

 

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Helix: "The Reaping" (Season1, Epiode 12)

Well, that wasn’t very good, now was it? In honor of how bad it truly was, I have three lines for this week: (1) “I need you down in the cabin;” (2) “We can’t stand around discussing this—we need to get back to the cabin;” and (3) “I’ll take my chances in the cabin.” All of this, mind you, in a show that was billed as taking place in a high tech futuristic lab isolated in the Arctic.

 

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Helix: "Black Rain" (Season 1, Episode 11)

This week’s line: “That rat didn’t crawl in there by itself.” With "there" being a microwave oven, I guess it didn’t. Unless the magical Narvik virus somehow made it super intelligent, in which case it was probably just trying to end the misery of being stuck on Helix. I can relate to that.

 

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Helix: "Fushigi" (Season1, Episode 10)

It’s Japanese word meaning “mystery,” or “secret.” Clever, huh? In all honesty, though,  “Fusilli” would work better as a title. That’s a thick, corkscrew shaped pasta, a better description for the actual experience of watching this show’s plot unfold.

 

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Helix: "Level X" (Season 1, Episode 9)

This week’s line: “I needed her on the job more than I needed her healthy.” I’m kind of astounded by this one. It means our hero Alan thinks that someone with a Grade 4 spinal tumor is going to be a big asset out in the middle of nowhere.   

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Helix: Bloodline (Season 1, Episode 8)

This week’s line: “I promise to answer all of your questions, but now is far from the time.” That one pretty much sums up this show.

 

And they’re lying. They don’t know how to answer any of this.

 

Speaking of which, that was a pointless couple of episodes, wasn’t it? We’re right back where we started, as if Constance had never been. Hope Jeri Ryan enjoyed the paycheck.

 

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Helix: "Survivor Zero" (Season 1, Epsiode 7)

This week’s post-coital line: “What we did was biology. I’m okay.” Quite the Valentine’s Day spirit, huh?.

 

In honor of Helix’s blatant attempt to boost ratings with Jeri Ryan, I’m trying to be nice this week. Let’s see, a fair amount of stuff happens. Nice song at the end. The silver eyes look kind of cool. There was a CGI Aurora Borealis that was okay. There were also hints that we might be circling an actual plot you can try and track as well. So let’s see how I hold up.   

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Helix: "Aniqatiga"

This week’s line: “There are no mistakes, only missed opportunities.” Yep.

 

This show reminds me of Caprica at this point. It’s just so diffuse. There’s a difference between a coherent mystery that goes murky around the edges and a collection of mysteries (a new one every episode) that don’t really seem to relate. You can pretend they relate because they’re all in the same show, but at some point the audience stops buying it.

 

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Helix: "The White Room" (Season 1, Episode 5)

“Warm, gooey chocolate brownies.” It’s a medical treatment, didn’t you know?

 

The other memorable line from tonight’s episode came from a SyFy commercial for the show: “WTF is happening on Helix?” For a show with this kind of attention deficit disorder, that’s probably a line best avoided.

 

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Helix: "Single Strand" (Season 1, Episode 3)

This week’s honest-to-Gosh line of dialogue: “Maybe you’re not as dumb as you look.”

Nah, it is.

This show’s problem at this point is that it’s got too many mysteries. We don’t know enough about the antagonist(s) and the plot though line to support this amount of dramatic diffusion. It’s choppy. And people are acting dumb again.

We left off with Evil Military Guy (EMG) blowing up the satellite dish. We pick up with CDC hero Alan and Evil Dr. Hatake arguing in time to hear Alan say this: “Do you even know if this was an accident or intentional?”

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