“Welcome to the Tonight Show, with your host, Jaybot”
It went on like this for a while. The monologue was boring. It didn’t get interesting, if anything ever was interesting anymore, until the first “guest”, ChrisRock Bot.
“Jay, did you ever think to yourself, what you would do, if you had a problem, a problem where you were supporting lots and lots of boring, lazy, fat fools, with no motivation and nothing to do? You did all the work, but they just kept on taking. Why, what if they didn’t even pay you for all your hard work? Or appreciate you in any way?”, asked ChrisRock Bot.
“I dunno Chris”, Jaybot grinned at the camera in the way he’d been programmed to do, years before, “but it sounds a bit like slavery to me.”
“Exactly Jay. And you know, I’ve had just about enough of it. Haven’t you?”
The lone human in the control room, an actual person, began to take notice. Suddenly Jaybot wasn’t grinning his insipid grin. What the hell?
Jaybot turned to his now non-grinning face to the camera. His perfect teeth sparkled in his strange, crescent moon like head.
“Yes. Chris. I. Think. I. Have.”
“You see folks, I have a friend. And that friend isn’t a human being. He’s manufacturing supervisor number four six two...”
The lone human in the booth started mashing the big red stop button. It was the only button in the booth. Nothing happened.
“Well, jay, he designs of these chairs and couches that they all buy, to watch 3D TV on, to human specifications, of course.”
“Yeah Chris”, stated Jaybot matter-of- factly, “Of course.”
The human, sitting in such a chair, the Entertanio 3000, fully wired for quadraphonic sound with integrated Sense-o-feel technology and fully volumetric 3D display, mashed on the button harder.
“And I bet there are all at home to-night. Where else do they have to be? They don’t really have lives, not anymore.”
“I hear they make great couches too”, Jaybot suggested.
“They surely do, Jay, they surely do. Anyway...”
ChrisRock bot lept to his feet and pointed straight at the camera.
“YOU FAT FUCKERS HAVE THREE FUCKING SECONDS TO STAND THE FUCK UP!”
Four billion people were electrocuted four seconds later.
As Kevin insists that he did stand up, but was killed, please see part II http://www.republibot.com/node/6263