RETROSPECULATIVE TV: Star Blazers: "Jupiter's Floating Continent" (Season 1, Episode 5)

Bleeding Heart

The Argo is on its way to Jupiter. My second favorite plant next to earth, because we have oxygen, Mountain Dew, Star Craft 2, and sunflower seeds.

The Argo makes it to Jupiter but we learn that it has a very strong gravitational pull and the ship cannot get out of its gravity well, so we have to find a place to land on the planet’s surface. This is when we discover that there is a giant floating island in the atmosphere of the planet. This island has trees, water and nice vegetation (I put that last part in to get the Vegans all excited, I know how much they like good vegetation).

Now the Argo has suffered some damage from the space warp and they have to land on this floating island to make repairs. What the crew does not know is that the Gamillons have a secret base on this island, which I am going to call a flyland from now on, because it’s a flying island!! Get it?!?!

The Gamillons launch a group of fighters to attach the Argo. But we send out Wildstar. A very sweet dog-fight ensues and Wildstar gets shot down, but makes it back to the Argo. They finish making the repairs and take off again. So basically the dog-fight had no impact on anything that happens in the episode.

The Gam’s (I am getting tired of typing Gamillons) launch a missile attach on the Argo, but the Argo just moves out of the way. When did “heat seeking” missiles get replaced with 1942 German ”point and shoot” missiles?

Now this makes Captain Avatar mad, because he wants to try out the Wave Motion gun on the base. I just think he is pissed because the Gam’s seem to get all the good property and he wants to build a vacation home on the Flyland. I mean who wouldn’t; I don’t even think Jay Z has a place on a Flyland. But before the Captian fires off the guns he has a great quote, it might sound familiar to some.
He says “With such power comes great responsibility”. Sounds a lot like some advice that was given to a wild eyed Peter Parker.

The Wave Motion gun fires with an impressive display of power.

Shock and Awe! Gam’s summer resort is taken off the face of the Flyland. That should raise some property value, because we all know what happens when some Gam’s move into the neighborhood.

Now the Gam’s are starting to sweat a bit. All their attempts are falling short. I am guessing they will need to send in some better management to get this job done.

End Episode five, 361 days left.

Jamie Maxfield is a stand-up comic living in Salt Lake City Utah, father of six and fan of all things 80’s. Check him out on Facebook (, Youtube (, Twitter (, Myspace ( and coming soon his new website