REPUBLIBOT WEEKEND MOVIE PREVIEW: Movies Opening 3-12-10

Republibot 1.0
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It almost felt like spring once or twice this week. It was very frustrating. Now I hear it is expected to snow next week. That is very disheartening. I blame Hollywood. Therefore, it is important to state that: I’ve not seen these movies, nor have I done any real research. I trust in ever faithful power of pop culture osmosis to inform my very clueless opinions. All of the film information presented here, including the plot summary, has been pulled from the Opening This Week page of IMDb (http://www.imdb.com/nowplaying/). This week we are previewing Green Zone, Remember Me, and She’s Out of My League, amongst others.

See you after the jump.

Green Zone

Director: Paul Greengrass

Stars: Matt Damon, Jason Isaacs, Greg Kinnear

Studio: Universal Pictures

The Plot: Discovering covert and faulty intelligence causes a U.S. Army officer (Damon) to go rogue as he hunts for Weapons of Mass Destruction in an unstable region.

The Republibot Take: I am conflicted on this film. On one hand I loved each of the Bourne Identity films, each one more than the previous one. The trailers for this one seem to have that same steely eyed frenzy as those. But in the recent lead up to its release and the early buzz, I am starting to get the impression that it is a fairly clichéd corrupt government official versus a lone disillusioned military man seeking the truth film.

I am not terribly political regardless of the fact that I write for a website called Republibot – but I do take issue with dominant political clichés that say that all corrupt government officials and all corrupt big government insiders are Republican. If the world doesn’t realize by ow that both sides have immensely compromised and evil people and that both sides have relatively principled and idealistic people with good intentions that sell themselves out for influence and opportunity then I am not sure that there is any hope at all for pop culture souls.

Therefore, based on our new and improved Sci-Fi Quotient rating system in which  a one is Pirate Radio, a 25 is Fifth Element and a zero is Bridges of Madison County, this gets a clean and solid 5. 

Remember Me

Director: Allen Coulter

Stars: Robert Pattinson, Emilie de Ravin

Studio: Summit Entertainment

The Plot: A romantic drama centered on two new lovers: Tyler (Pattinson), whose parents have split in the wake of his brother's suicide, and Ally (de Ravin), who lives each day to the fullest since witnessing her mother's murder.

The Republibot Take: I have been sitting here for about 45 minutes trying to decide what kind of potentially funny opinion I might have on this movie and… I got nothin’.

Sci-Fi Quotient is 0 and becomes our new baseline.

Seriously, it stars Robert Pattinson – I don’t know what more you could possibly expect from me.

She's Out of My League

Director: Jim Field Smith

Stars: Jay Baruchel, Alice Eve

Studio: Paramount Pictures

The Plot: A guy (Baruchel) lets his insecurities pick away at his fledgling relationship with the perfect gal (Eve).

The Republibot Take: I hate these kinds of movies. They are incredibly predictable, they seem to be cut out of a teen girl’s blouse template from 1973, and in the end they are chock full of artificial and totally insincere heart. But that isn’t the full reason why I hate them. The reason I really hate them is because I always end up laughing at something. And tuning into them repeatedly for short bursts on Encore and Starz. That is why I hate them – they are nutrientless snacks full of vein clogging sweetness. They are energy drinks that lift you up for a short period and then let you crash down without a second thought.

That is why I hate them.

Sci-Fi Quotient is a 3.

Our Family Wedding

Director: Rick Famuyiwa

Stars: America Ferrera, Forest Whitaker, Carlos Mencia

Studio: Fox Searchlight Pictures

The Plot: The weeks leading up to a young couple's wedding is comic and stressful, especially as their respective fathers (Whitaker and Mencia) try to lay to rest their long-standing feud.

The Republibot Take: I would rather re-watch the original In-Laws with Peter Falk and Alan Arkin.

Sci-Fi Quotient is a 2, but that is only due to Forest Whitaker.

Mother [LA/NY]

Director: Joon-ho Bong

Stars: Hye-ja Kim, Bin Won

Studio: Magnolia Pictures

The Plot: When her mentally handicapped son is accused for the rape and murder of a young woman, a mother begins her own investigation into the crime in hope to clear her child's name.

The Republibot Take: By this point, it is almost mid-night, I am tired, and I don’t know anything about any of these movies. I still need to track down the trailers and write the opening and the close and I am craving a milk shake for some reason.

This movie is Korean, I am expecting that the vengeful Mom will dust off her killer Tai-Kwon-Do skills and kick some serious ass.

Sci-Fi Quotient is at least a 15 because it is an Asian and film and something weird and unexpected is bound to happen.

Well, there you go. An exciting action packed week at the cinema. Or at least marginally interesting.

I know that I am definitely seeing Green Zone, but that is mainly due to my buddies that love overwrought political thrillers. I am also kinda interested in Mother. God help, also, but there is a good chance I will see She’s Out of My League.

Next week,  we will be spending a minimal amount of time on The Runaways, The Bounty Hunter, and Repo Men, amongst others.

Until then – see you in the comments.

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