FAN FILM FRIDAY: "I'm Power Girl, Dammit!" (2006)

Republibot 3.0
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There's endless lists of the differences between professional productions and Fan Films, and pretty much all of them are valid, but if you ask me, one of the most significant is the one no one actually wants to admit to: Professional actors and actresses are, by and large, better looking than us regular folks. Certainly better looking than me (Though I've got kind of a rakish Orson Wells thing going on, but I'm more striking than handsome, really).

When you think about it, there's really no woman on screen that any guy reading this web page would ever have a shot with. In fact, I'm pretty confident that the popularity of Sandra Bullock - back when she was popular, I mean - was that she was what most guys considered to be about the best looking woman that they'd ever have a ghost of a chance with. There were better looking actresses, but clearly, clearly, clearly they're all out of the league of mere mortal couch potatoes like us.

So: folks who act need to be pretty above all else. The ability to talk and be pretty at the same time is secondary. The ability to remember your lines and be pretty is tertiary, and the ability to walk and talk and be pretty at the same time is waaaaaaaaaay the hell down the list of priorities, which is why prettyboy Keanu Reeves (Who I'm convinced is some kind of CGI effect and not a person) continues to get work. Really, when you think about it, it takes a nation of 300 million to produce the two-hundred or so handsome actors that women like, and the five hundred or so women that men want to see naked, but who don't automatically enrage their wives and girlfreinds. This is why there's not really much of a film industry in, say, Australia: The population density just isn't enough to produce a bumper crop of attractive doofuses fit for jobs other than construction.

Which brings us back to one of the fundamental problems of fan films: the difficulty of talking hot chicks in to putting on utterly ridiculous costumes, and then showing them on the internet for all their friends to point and laugh at, and say bitchy things. And that's why I like this Power Girl short:


The first of several Power Girl fan films, obviously influence by both Katee Sackhoff's version of "Starbuck" from BSG, and some Kevin Smith "Clerks"- styled dialog and direction, we may or may not get to the others in the series, depending on fan reaction to this one.

For those not initiated into the inner mysteries of the DCU, she's a superheroine in the Superman power range, and she's stupid-hot.

Just turn the sound down so you don't have to hear the awful music.