Episode Review: V – Laid Bare (Season 2, Episode 3)

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I am only a day slow on this. I am getting better. I think I got this recap thing figured out to where I can write it in about 2 hours including viewing time. It helps that the show is terrible, so all I really have to do is note what happens without actually caring and getting caught up in the story. This week’s episode only moves the story incrementally forward even though it feels like a ton of stuff happened.

This week’s episode is called “Laid Bare”, and according to the cable show guide: “Lisa’s body undergoes changes; Anna dispatches Ryan to find Agent Malik after she goes missing.”

Here is the recap:

The show kicks off by jumping right into follow up to part of the dramatic conclusion of last week’s show with Erica being rescued almost immediately after her car crash by her posse. They take Malik, the undercover V FBI agent prisoner. They give a hurried explanation of why they were there so quickly, even before the local authorities, that I really didn’t understand, and then they blow up her car to help concoct a cover story for her and explain the disappearance of Malik.

VAP (V American Princess) Lisa‘s skin starts to go all green and Anna walks in on her just as it happens and explains to her that her body is going to change. She refers to it as her breeding skin. No idea what that means, because isn’t that skin fake? I am pretty sure it is supposed to just be an organic artificial covering. Why would it turn lizardy, when the skin isn’t inherently lizardy itself?

Anna then, as is becoming her wont after everytime she speaks with her daughter, confronts her mother. In a beautiful scene of meaningless exposition they share some vague historical information about their relationship that is supposed to impart a convoluted and difficult past relationship without actually sharing any real details.

Anna then orders her PR guy to track down the now missing Agent Malik. After which she calls Ryan to see how he is doing and Ryan realizes he is being played. Anna sends him, also, to track down what happened to Malik.

We jump cut hard to Erica now, who is now visiting the new doctor fella they are working with this season who is looking at her whiny son’s DNA, which is only half there. They suspect that the Vs engineered it that way in order to replace it with something else later. Sneaky, sneaky Vs.

Erica runs to the Batcave, or rather the Anti-Lizard cave, and lets the others know what happened to her son. They have Malik tied up. Ryan says to skin her, but the doctor dude explains that if they do that she would only live for an hour or two at most after skinning. Erica expresses that she is only interested in finding out what happened the other half of her son’s DNA.

The Whiny son shows back up, he is with Anna on the mothership and is worried about his mum. He also spills the beans on Father Jack. Anna starts to work on him to get him to help them spy on Father Jack.

Back in the Anti-Lizard Cave, Ryan cuts off Malik’s fingers in order to help track down what she is up to. He and Erica then head to the prisoner’s house and quickly find her safe box that is hidden in the oven and use the severed finger to open it and pull out her HD that has all of her case files stored on it. A bunch of Vs show up and Erica and Ryan quickly MacGuyver a homemade bomb to erase their scents from the place and create a distraction as they run out the back door without being seen.

On the mothership Anna meets with Party of V. Anna tries to see if he knows anything about Father Jack and then suggest that they give the good priest a forum, because everyone should have a place to openly express what they believe. We jump cut to Party of V and Father Jack – the good father is totally gung ho to go on National TV.

We quickly learn that Malik’s data is a list of people that have disappeared over the years.

Anna is about ready to kick off the experimentation on how to get identify and get rid of the Human Soul. She probably should read the Golden Compass. Former Fifth Column doctor now emotionless automaton doctor is in charge of the study and figures in order to figure out how to do it he will only need roughly a hundred thousand human test subjects. Maybe that explains what is going on with Whiny Boy, the part of his DNA he is missing accounts for his soul, that is why he is such a useless contributor to the show.

Ryan is browsing through Malik’s data at the Anti-Lizard Cave. Hobbes checks to see how Erica is doing. Ryan thinks he figures out what is going on and can prevent the next abduction so he and Erical head off to try and do it.

Father Jack starts his sermon and is instantly confronted by someone claiming to have lost family in the blast. A fight breaks out between the claimant and someone else in the congregation and it turns out the dude is totally a V. Father Jack steps in and on the verge of tears takes the blame of the blast on himself and defuses the situation. The V interloper loses the crowd and leaves.

Ryan and Erica track down the mother of the person listed to disappear next on Malik’s HD. The mom hasn’t seen her daughter for 6 months. Erica shows compassion and gives the mom her card. The mom asks Ryan, “ do you have any kids?” And Ryan replies gravely, “ I have a daughter.” The mom says, “then you know how I feel.” I guess totally forgetting that Erica has a child too, whiny and useless as he may be. The mom gives them a picture of her daughter.

They are back at the Anti-Lizard cave. Hobbes wants to get on with it and skin Malik and immediately moves to tear her shirt off. The Doctor dude protests, he needs the prisoner alive, if she is skinned she will die and he will lose a viable test subject and who knows how long it will take before they come across another V. A female one at that. Ryan says it is Erica’s choice. The music rises dramatically, faces all set in stone and seriousness and we cut to Anna on the mothership with Party of V.

Anna shows Party of V that she has iMovie on board the ship and has recut the events with Father Jack in the Chapel. She thinks if she shows Father Jack wading into a fight looking to get in on the action that people will automatically not trust him. She apparently has watched no American Television in the last 30 years or movies in the last 100.

Party of V is surprised that Anna is going to do this. He seems caught completely off guard. He is the worst news reporter to have ever lived. Worse even than Geraldo Rivera.

Ryan and Erica have a heart to heart. Erica isn’t sure if she should put her son’s life ahead of the lives of others. Ryan says ominously, “sometimes you just gotta protect your own.” Erica asks Malik one last time to tell them where the missing girl was taken. Malik refuses to speak. Erica says, “Skin her.” (At first I thought she said, “Skinner”, like in the principal form the Simpsons, but once Hobbes walked up behind her and started slicing the skin off of her along the spine, I figured it out.)

Malik gets tortured with Ryan pitching in with the most egregious parts, she spills the beans on the missing people but doesn’t know anything about whiny boy. They let her die in peace. Slow motion shot as they disperse from the hanging body.

Cut to the food truck and the V who has kidnapped the girl, they are in the forest – no explanation of how they tracked the vehicle down there so quickly in the middle of nowhere. The evil child abductor V is pulling her through the forest when he sees he is being chased. He ditches the girl and runs for it. Erica takes her time and sites on him and clips him in the shoulder. He turns around and takes his time and swallows a pill which instantly turns him to dust. They all run to help the girl who is in hysterics. The girl has been drugged, while they get her to safety Hobbes and Erica search to see if any other Vs are around. They find a shuttle being filled with other abductees but aren’t able to get to it in time to do anything.

Back on the mothership, Former Good V Doctor Dude, VAP Lisa and Anna are preparing to start the first experiment on a human to identify the soul. The plan is diabolical genius and totally scientific and stuff. The figure if they remove all of the main elements of the body one at a time (like water, skin, organs, etc), the last thing remaining at the moment of death must be the soul. At least that is what it sounded like to me. Which, really, can we be frank here, is super-super lame. They might as well put the test subjects on a large scale to see if they weigh as much as a duck.

Anyway, Anna is worried that VAP Lisa isn’t up to making the tough decisions a Queen is required to make so she has Lisa conduct the experiment. The human subject begs Lisa not to kill him, because they forgot to gag him or anything. Lisa presses the button and proceeds to try to find that pesky soul.

Erica and Ryan drop the no longer missing girl back off to her mum. There is a tearful reunion and Anna and Erica look on like they have been posed by Todd MacFarlane himself – really stiff and uncomfortable looking, but completely dramatic. Outside as they leave, Ryan isn’t as happy as Erica thinks he should be so she tries to lift him up and reassures him that they will get his daughter back. Ryan agrees that yes he will get his daughter back.

Party of V and Father Jack are watching the recut video that Anna did on YouTube. It is going viral. Party of V is apologizing profusely and kicking himself for not seeing it coming. Father Jack isn’t that fazed by it. He fights back tears and says that all will be good as long as they have faith and guys like Party of V on their side. Then he says portentously that it is time he meets the rest of the resistance.

Cut to the Anti-Lizard cave, Party of V is standing in the midst of our heroes. Everyone sums up their clichéd roles in the show, I mean resistance, with quick one or two word exchanges. Hobbes is suspicious, Erica is decisive, Ryan is cryptic.

Anna and Whiny Boy are together. She is thanking him for videotaping the fight at the church. Anna holds his hand and calls him her son. He smiles big and then we cut to Erica’s home where Lisa shows up emotionally beat from the experimentation. Erica gives her a big motherly hug.

Ryan reports in to Anna to see his daughter and tells Anna that he has located the Fifth Column and knows who took Malik. Smash to black.

Here are my thoughts:

Does every line spoken at the end of every scene in this show have to drip with portent. It is seriously bugging me. Portentous looks, portentous dialogue, portentous camera work, portentous music queues, portentous portent. Seriously, when is enough enough. If this doesn’t change, I cant be held responsible for what could happen...

Will Conservatives Like This Episode?

No, but not for any political or offensive subject matter (honestly, I don’t if there is any of that stuff in it, hidden or otherwise, I just don’t have the energy to try to sniff that kind stuff out). They won’t like it for the same reasons Liberals probably won’t like it – it is bad. Really, really bad.