EPISODE REVIEW: Sym-Bionic Titan: “Phantom Ninja” (Season 1, Episode 4)

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Thinks pretty much suck on whatever planet it is that Lance and company come from. (I can never remember the name, but it’s pretty goofy) The resistance is wearing down, the king is being tortured by an incredibly creepy alien that climbs *inside* him to get info. Bad times for all. General whatshisname (I always forget that, too) sends the creepy bug to earth to kill - in no uncertain terms - the princess and her protectors.

MEANWHILE, on earth, the Princess is using her exile to attempt to improve the lunches in the high school they all go to. Her and Octus make a whole lot of alien food - “Foo Foo!” - using earth ingredients and have a big party to get everyone to petition for better meals.

MEANWHILE, Corporal Lance* has begun to realize the cause of his mopey, brooding, surly behavior, and it’s actually not that much different than a lot of other over-muscled high school boys: he doesn’t get to beat enough people up. He sets about Batmaning in the night, which makes him happy and perky and affable the next day. Caution: repeated usage of nighttime happy slapping may cause drowsiness and bad hair. But he’s only beating up criminals, so that makes it all better. No, really, it does. I mean it. Sorry if that sounded sarcastic or something. It wasn’t meant that way. I mean, this is a Republican website, right?

MEANWHILE, the creepy alien bug thing has been tracking our heroes, and catches Lance shortly after he kills five bank robbers (Honest and for true!), then busts up the princess’ Food Party. A charmingly anticlimactic mighty-fighty robot battle takes place - literally just about thirty seconds - in which the Titan squashes the bug, but the bug got off a message to home first.

Back on whatever planet it is they all come from, General Whatshisname tortures the King to get information about the Titan.

The End

OBSERVATIONS

This was probably the weakest episode of the bunch. Last week was also pretty weak, but it had that whole weird comedy thing going on with the robot taking parenting lessons from cartoons aimed at toddlers. This one is less funny - even with repeated usage of the not-quite-word “Foo Foo” - at least overtly. Still, the Princess’ repeated attempts to rally the commoners in support of silly things is a good running gag, and Octus’ poorly timed “Me Too” moment was daaaaaaaaaaarn funny.

Up until now, they’ve killed monsters, which don’t really count. In this episode, they kill a clearly-sapient alien, and five bank robbers.

Lance is very well regarded in his own army, and is apparently regarded as a one-man wrecking machine. Or perhaps one “Man-wrecking” machine. I’ve never been entirely clear on that expression. Anyway, whatever it is, he’s that.

Most of the damage in town appears to have been repaired.

Not too much else to say about this one, it’s all on the surface. Still a fun show, though.

WILL CONSERVATIVES LIKE THIS EPISODE?

Sure, why not, but for the love of gosh, DO NOT let your younger kids watch this episode. The bug alien is disturbing even to adults, and it’s way too creepy for anyone under, say, eleven or twelve. The scene of it looking out from Lance’s throat is the kind of thing that could easily haunt squeamish adults, so it’s obviously bad for kids.

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