EPISODE REVIEW: Sym-Bionic Titan: “The Roar of the White Dragon” (Episode 5)

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This is the kind of episode that comes of watching Tokyo Drift into the wee hours of the morning when you’re *supposed* to be writing a script…

PLAY BY PLAY

There’s this hot-rodder guy named Mike Chang, and he’s got a super-tricked out car, and a gang, and they race a lot, illegally. It’s just like in Speed, and in Speed 2: Armed and Fabulous and Speed 3: Ving Realized He Can’t Get A Better Job, and Speed 4: Popeye and the Floppy Jalopy. What, there wasn’t a fourth Speed film? And I’m actually not thinking of Speed at all, but “The Fast and the Furious?” Well…uhm…there *should* have been a fourth one and…uhm…I knew the real title, it’s just too long to type out four times in service of a lame joke when I have a migrane. Yeah. Totally meant that, and not lying at all.*

If I’m prevaricating prolifically per plot points and alliterating again, it’s because there really ain’t much plot here. Mike Chang likes to race, Lance gets on his bad side. They race, Chang wins by cheating, then Lance wins by out-of-nowhere monster attack. Chang goes to jail, Lance gets his driver’s license, and the Princess learns an important lesson about when to follow the rules and when to be recklessly prudent. Oh, and Octus discovers the glory that is the popsicle.

The End.

OBSERVATIONS

Not their best episode. Probably their worst. Chang’s car is pretty sweet, however, and it was fun to see how the guys reacted to it. Octus and the popsicles was pretty funny, and Lance is less grim, but on the whole it wasn’t very fun, funny, fast, or furious. The race scenes seemed all rather bland, and the jumping-from-debris-to-debris aspect of the final race was so silly they wouldn’t have tried to pull it off in an episode of Samurai Jack.

It is interesting to note, however, that the city is *still* being reconstructed following the damage from the monster attacks in the first episode, as most of the race took place in the areas that had been leveled.

I will say that whomever did Mike Chang’s voice totally nailed the cool tough guy feel the part required. His every line oozed smarm and charm, which is exactly what you need in something like that. Great voice acting, lame episode.

WILL CONSERVATIVES LIKE THIS EPISODE

Nah, this was pretty lame - apart from the popsicles - I really can’t imagine anyone enjoying it.

* The preceding phrase is spelled “I am not lying at all,” but is pronounced “I am totally lying.”

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