"Are you kidding? It's like dating a God… or Bono!"- Lois Lane
I'm glad Lois was enthusiastic about this episode, because I really wasn't.
Why do I think this is this season's first clunker?
Well, look no farther.
(Maybe a little farther. Click that link to see what I mean)
Lois and Clark are heading for a reporting assignment in the boonies when they get a flat tire. A young girl comes out to meet them, bearing lemonade. Clark walks off to get the flat repaired and leaves Lois with Charlotte (the girl). When he gets back, they're gone.
While putting the tire in the trunk, Clark cuts his hand on the rim (!). A local deputy shows up, and Clark tells him that Lois is missing. The deputy is skeptical until Clark finds the nail studded plank that caused their flat tire, and shows him the tracks from the horse and buggy that Charlotte had (Oh, yeah. She's Amish-ish.) by the side of the road.
Lois and Charlotte go to Charlotte's town, and meet her parents. Lois is hoping to get back to Metropolis for an anti-hero rally. It looks like this small community has other plans for our intrepid reporter.
Tess is throwing a party for Alexander Clone. He's now apparently 13 or 14. Lexa Doig plays Doctor Lemell, who is trying to make up for bad acts as a Lexcorp researcher. She thinks that his best hope lies in being in an institution- Tess wants him to feel normal. He isn't normal, though. He has an apparent seizure after scribbling the symbol of the House of El (you and I know it as the Superman symbol) on a paper plate.
Meanwhile, Clark and the deputy are searching for Lois, when they come across a water trough with Blue Kryptonite at the bottom. It has infected the water supply, explaining his powerlessness; but also making everybody in the area immune to illness. Clark hears a bell toll, and then lots of bells toll as the deputy hits Clark hard and knocks him out.
Lois eats with the pseudo-Amish. They lost their oldest daughter in the meteor shower of '89, but they believe that it was her sacrifice, and not the Blue-K that caused their crops to prosper and their robust health. So naturally, they hold an annual sacrifice, and Lois appears to be this year's fatted calf.
Clark wakes up to Lois in pseudo-Amish garb. She brings him up to date, He does likewise. Apparently all the Blue-K the unholy rollers ingested made them walking Blue-K repositories. They find a trap door in the room where they are being held, and make an escape. A short lived one, as Clark is apparently mortally wounded.
Alexander finds his way to the Kent barn; the implanted memories of Lex are resurfacing. He remembers Clark, their friendship and the betrayal he felt when Clark refused to tell him who he really was. Tess tries to tell him that he doesn't need to buy into Lex's memories, but it's too late. He now believes himself to be Lex.
Lois stands to be sacrificed, but engages in a war of words with the leader of the congregation. Meanwhile, Clark has been buried in a shallow grave outside of town. Not one to be stopped by such trivialities, he bursts from the ground and walks into town. Undeterred by his resurrection, the leader of the congregation pours down molten, flaming blue kryptonite (sounds like an interesting drink) towards Lois. Clark interposes himself between the flaming cocktail and his girlfriend… and yet again, he unexpectedly survives. As the townspeople back away, Clark gets his powers back, and after Lois does a medicine show for the locals, Clark whisks her away.
Doctor Lemell has come up with a serum to cure Alexander… unfortunately, Tess realizes that he isn't Alexander anymore, but Lex. Tess orders her to destroy all her research; She's going to lock up Lex for everybody's safety until he dies of old age six weeks from now.
Lois and Clark meet in the barn. He gives her his Kryptonian diary, as he wants to share himself completely with her, no secrets. And he proceeds to do so. Evidently, Lois had enough Blue-K lemonade to allow Clark to do the horizontal bop with her without "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex" ramifications.
Somewhere else, Lex Clone is shaving his cute little head…
This was a Halloween episode. I can tell, because we got Scary Religious People as the villain. Seriously, how many religious people will immediately turn to human sacrifice after their crops get better? Oh, for crying out loud! This is the most ridiculous excuse for an isolated Koreshesque cult that I've ever seen. Do they expect us to believe that this outfit has managed to kidnap young women and murder them once a year without attracting attention? And that no one said anything in the Village of the Damned that this made not a lick of sense?
Here's my problem. There was potentially a good episode here, but it was sullied by the logical lapses of the cult. The Lois and Clark character bits were note perfect, and the idea of the pair of them trapped, literally powerless, in horrifying situation is very cool.
This just wasn't.
I do like that Lois has read the Bible and has attended Sunday School. It lends a bit of balance to the proceedings. Still… not quite enough.
In the LuthorClone saga, the joy Tess felt when she thought her redemption was at had has all been crushed. She thought that she could raise a good Alexander; but as he ages and gains Lex's memories, he becomes irredeemable.
Lois' comments about bringing Clark into the light were well stated. I like the way the pieces are falling together.
Next week, General Lane comes to give Clark the Third Degree.