EPISODE REVIEW: The Robinsons: Lost In Space: “Pilot” (2003)

Every year there are dozens of pilot episodes made. These are essentially a working model or proof of concept episode for a potential new TV series. Some of these are fully-fledged episodes, and some are only partial-length. Others are feature length. Based on the strengths or weaknesses of these ‘proposals’, networks decide which new shows they’re going to pick up and which ones they’re not.

This is a high-expense an high-risk business. Even a pilot for a sitcom involves optioning actors, writing scripts, hiring a director and crew, building sets, postproduction work, and so on. For an hour-long drama, obviously, there’s vastly more effort and time and money involved, and if you’re making a science fiction series you may as well just double all of those variables because it’s just much, much harder. And if it’s a pilot for a space-based SF show, maybe quadruple ‘em. And of course there’s no guarantee that there’s going to be a payoff for you for all your hard labor. No matter how great you think your concept for “Outer Space Planet of Clowns: The Musical” is, the suits may not share your vision, and take a pass on the whole thing. And then were are you? You’ve invested millions of dollars in what amounts to half a feature film that no one is ever gonna’ see.

It’s a rough business, and the Networks say ‘no’ more than they say yes. Every year a dozen or two pilots are made for shows that don’t get picked up, and that’s the end of the story. This article is about one of those stories, obviously.

In 2003 The WB network (Remember them?) was interested in yet another reboot of the “Lost in Space” franchise. They commissioned a pilot without much fanfare and then passed on it without much fanfare. Though I’ve never been much of a fan of the original series, I did always feel like the first handful of episodes - though amazingly stupid - had an odd, dream-like kind of goofy charm that was mildly engaging. The less said about that murderously bad movie the better. So I was mildly curious about the ‘03 reboot, just to see what their take on the almost unworkably-difficult concept was.

Well, I finally watched it.

PLAY BY PLAY:

It’s the year 2097, and Colonel John Robinson is retiring from the “Space Corps.” This is a big deal because he’s a big bohonkin’ war hero who literally saved the world during the alien invasion in 2082 when, we’re told, Robinson literally saved the world. After a long and fruitful career that’s required him to be away from his family for six to ten months at a time, he’s decided to permanently relocate with his wife and kids to “Planet Nova,” a farming colony. At the party, eldest daughter Judy catches the eye of Captain Don West, “The youngest man ever to command his own squad” and they end up knocking boots.

The next day, back at home, the Robinsons are packing up to board the colony ship when they discover that Will Robinson has built a Robot to act as a bodyguard to protect himself from bullies at school. John makes him take it apart.

The colony ship is fairly extensive and impressive, and actually kind of interesting. Named