Our entirely sporadic coverage of this series continues…sporadically!
Now, I’m still a couple episodes behind in catching up with this thing, and I briefly toyed with the idea of not reviewing tonight’s ep until I was caught up, but ultimately I rejected that since the show is already dead, will not resolve its storyline, and isn’t very good to begin with. It was just too much effort for too little payoff, all things considered. So our coverage continues, but, I apologize, the eps are gonna’ be somewhat out of sequence.
LAST TIME AS YOU RECALL…
Well, seeing as the last episode I saw was #3, I don’t recall much. It would appear that another transport ship has gone into orbit around Carpathia, and that Julius is continuing to vie for power. It would also appear that Julius and Jack are plotting a coup in much the same way that Jamie Bamber and Jack were in episode 1. A secret mission - hatched by Jack and Julius - was sent out to assassinate Rudy, leader of the Rude Boys. The three people sent out were lost. That seems to be pretty much it.
PLAY BY PLAY
As this episode starts out, Jack’s army of stomping bush-crappers are stomping around and crapping in the bushes looking for their three missing people. There’s some scandal a-brewin’ since Jack waited 48 hours to report ‘em missing, and waffles when explaining why. Meanwhile, Josie Hunter, one of the missing stomping bush-crappers staggers into Forthaven, asking to see her kids. She’s cleaned up and taken to them, and tells her story of a fight with the Rude Boys an a long walk back to camp. She’s acting odd, though, and the kids notice it.
The Stomping Bush Crapper Army find another of the three missing men, who says that they weren’t attacked by the Rude Boys, but rather Josie turned on them and shot ‘em. They pass this information along unexpectedly quickly for this show - seriously, did the writers watch Lost and say “You know what would make this show better? If there was more walking around aimlessly and even less exchange of information!” or what? - and Josie is arrested, much to her children’s shock. She’s questioned, but provides no info.
Meanwhile, Boss Cop Lady’s radio bleeps, and it’s Josie claiming she’s 7 miles outside of town and needs help. Boss Cop Lady dispatches Cass and Fleur, the Apollo and Starbuck of this show, respectively, to walk out and find her. They get there, but it’s darkening, and even though she’s there, they totally miss her. They see the lights going out in town and rush back.
This is because a subplot I’ve neglected to mention until now out of boredom involved Rudy sending a couple Rude Boys to sneak into town and cause all manner of higgledy piggeldy. This they then do, but Fake Josie escapes while the power’s out, and grabs the kids. Jack and Cass kill one of the Rude Boys and capture the other. Meanwhile, Real Josie shows up at the front gate, and Jack and the Stomping Bush Crappers catch her and throw her in a cell with the captured Rude Boy.
Confused, she explains her story, and Cass realizes she’s telling the truth (She heard him looking for her, and described it fairly accurately) so, in a genuinely cool scene, he springs her from her cell, and they book it for the countryside to look for her kids and her doppleganger. Eventually they find ‘em in the rocks outside of town, but just as Real Josie convinces her kids to come out, Jack and the Stomping Commandos turn up threatening to shoot her. Fortunately, Fake Josie makes a cameo appearance, confusing Jack, and that’s pretty much that.
Back in town, Julius attempts to broker a deal with President Tate, but Tate confronts him with information about the assassination attempt on Rudy (Which Real Josie had let slip), and he storms out. Back in his room he contacts the other ship in orbit.
Oh, no, wait, that wasn’t the end: There’s also a subplot about a pregnant woman who’s husband was one of the missing Stomping Bush Crappers. She’s in labor when the power goes out, and goes into a thinly-described medical pregnant woman thingie which involves mood lighting and an oxygen mask. Then everyone looks broody and they do a ‘do we save the mother or the baby’ thing, but then, just to deflate any drama from the show, both mother and baby do fine, and everyone lives happily ever after, excepting her husband, who’s dead.
There’s something icky about this show where children are concerned, don’t you think? Got Jamie Bamber in the pilot kidnapping his kid, got Josie Mark II doing it here, got Julian apparently molesting that girl on the transport, the Rude Boy’s baby (“Rude Baby!”) being used as a bargaining chip, the whole “Do we kill the baby or the mom” thing tonight, and so on. I realize they’re trying to ratchet up the tension by putting children in peril, but really all they’re doing is making it look like children are something it’s perfectly ok to imperil, provided you have an appropriately forlorn expression when you do it. Ick.
It got me wondering, though, if Jamie Bamber was in fact a fake just like Josie Mark II was tonight. Is he still alive out there in the wilderness somewhere?
Jamie and Jack were colluding and Julian and Jack were colluding, evidently picking up from where Jamie left off. Jack’s clearly not in charge of either of these situations, but he was clearly holding out a bit on Jamie, he’s not with Julian. What’s going on here? Is he just an easy mark for would-be usurpers, or is Julian’s agenda related to Josie Mark II and Jamie Bamber Hypothetically Mark II? Probably not, but I’ll know more after I watch episode 4 tomorrow.
I gotta’ say, Tate really isn’t a very good leader. I mean, Cass flat out tells him about the doppleganger, and he just refuses to deal with it.
Why *is* the birth rate falling on Carpathea?
Obviously the doppleganger is an alien of some sort.
The Alien Josie Mark II tells the kids that she wants to know what ‘love’ is. Aaaaaaaan the eyeball roles can be heard on the other side of the atlantic ocean. I was going to stick some footage in here from Robot Monster about Ro-Man wanting to know what it is to be hu-man, but I couldn’t find any. Since I couldn't pull off that cheap joke, here's an even cheaper one:
Uhm, yeah, I guess that’s pretty much it. Not enough Fleur in this ep. I thought Juliet Aubrey, who plays “Josie Hunter” in this episode might have been Virginia Hey there for a minute, but it wasn’t and I was wrong. Eh.
WILL CONSERVATIVES LIKE THIS EPISODE?