EPISODE REVIEW: Iron Man: Armored Adventures: “Cold War” (Episode 4)

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Responding to a break-in at Stark Tower, Tony meets someone calling himself “Blizzard.” He used to work for Staind, but was framed for an accident he wasn’t responsible for, and spent several years on the lam, during which he lost his wife, kid, and a lot of magazine subscriptions that he forgot to put in forwarding orders for. Tony and Blizz hit it off, having a lot in common. Blizz intends to steal back all his inventions for Staind, and then take the guy down. Tony signs on to help him.

Rhody doesn’t trust the guy, however, but Tony gets more and more obsessed and won’t listen to him. They get Pepper to use her dad’s FBI access to find out some information about Blizz, which she agrees to on the condition that Tony and Rhody go to Happy Hogan’s party. They agree.

Tony has misgivings about Blizz, but when he sees how Staind disfigured him, he puts them aside and helps him get the stuff he needs to build his weapon. Then Blizz turns on Ironman, and Tony barely gets away. Meanwhile, Pepper has found out - too late - that Blizzard was involved in tech theft *before* he went to work for Stark International. Tony’s been played, just like Rhody said.

Blizz attacks the tower, and Tony fights him off, fairly typical stuff, with Tony eventually cryogenically freezing Blizzard in a sequence that really makes no sense - exactly how did he do it again? No explanation given, it just happened. Only one good line in the whole shindig when Tony decks Blizz and says “That’s for making me save Staind.”

After the fun is done, they head to Happy Hogan’s party, which is a dud: only the three of them and Hogan himself showed up.


Just a cameo for Khan this time out.

Blizzard is kind of like a combination of Iron Man (Minus the jet boots) and Mr. Freeze from Batman, only without the pathos. Actually, he’s a lot like the version of Freeze from the terrible “The Batman” cartoon UPN used to run.

The voice acting is a little better in this episode, they went in a kind of Thomas Dekker direction with Tony’s speaking voice. Good move.

The animation really grated on me this time out, it’s just too stark - no pun intended - and lacks shading or detail or subtlety. The backgrounds are ok - not great, but ok - but they’re too clean, and the characters move like poorly rendered cutscenes from an early-90s computer game. It’d be distracting if it weren’t continual. Instead, it’s merely teeth-gnashing. I particularly hate Rhody’s ever-present jacket. The design on the bottom of it makes it look like he’s wearing a jockstrap that’s popping up out of his jeans. Just embarrassing.

Story and execution were not terribly inspired. We’re four weeks in, and this show is loosing me, despite having a ton of potential. I just get the feeling the people doing it (Who, for some reason, I repeatedly assume to be French), just aren’t all that in to it. It’s a paycheck, not a passion.

We’ll see.