EPISODE REVIEW: GI Joe Renegades: “Revelations, Part 2” (Episode 26, Season Finale)

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THEY WON!

They totally freakin’ won!

I totally didn’t expect it, I figured we’d have a cliffhanger ending that would alter the structure of the show somewhat, but I didn’t figure they’d have a solid end where the good guys win! I’ve been guessing for months that the season would end with the Joes getting enough evidence to convince Flint and Hawk that Cobra was an evil terrorist organization bent on destroying the world, but not so much evidence to allow the authorities to move openly against them. I figured it’d be the same basic format but with a different mission, but, man oh man oh man was I wrong! This is so much cooler, and I can’t tell you how happy I am to have a solid finish for this whole storyline.

PLAY BY PLAY

In the Cobra Mansion, in the huge facilities beneath it, Mindbender, Destro and the Baroness continue to work on the MASS device, using biovipers as test subjects. They keep going through the thing and exploding on the other side. Mindbender tunes it, blows up a viper, tunes it again, blows up a viper, tunes it, blows up a viper, and so on.

The Joes, meanwhile, sneak into the facility through the underground high speed rail system. They quickly get separated, with Ripcord getting sucked up with a whole bunch of other biovipers, and encased in a giant hamster ball for recycling. The Joes get all the proof they need to shut Cobra down for good - Again - but they’ve lost that several times before.

“We could do the sensible thing for one in our fugitive lives and call in the cavalry,” Tunnel Rat says, but is voted down.

They get attacked by Destro in a HISS tank, and they manage to take him out, but HISSes are really hard to kill. They find hundreds of them stored away.

“Ok, teleported plus tank armada equals very bad time,” Tunnel Rat observes.

They split into teams, with Duke, Roadblock and Rat going to rescue Ripcord, while Scarlet and Snake Eyes go to destroy the MASS Device. In a genuinely really well choreographed and directed and edited sequence, Duke, Rat, and Road fight Cobra Commander (Wearing powered combat armor) on a big conveyor belt while simultaneously attempting to rescue Ripcord from being recycled.

In a simultaneous and very nearly equally as good sequence Scarlet and Snake fight biovipers in Mindbender’s lab, but are captured. They quickly figure out that Scarlet has the frequency code they need, and move to push Snake through the teleported.

“Oh, jee, if only I had the frequency, then you wouldn’t have to watch your boyfriend get turned inside out…”

Scarlet gives it up. Snake Eyes survives teleport. Suddenly, Scarlet’s dad appears, having been trapped in a wormhole lo these many years (Or possibly just for a few moments of subjective time, they’re not really clear on that). Snake comes back through the Teleporter and opens fire on all the Vipers in the lab, and higgledy piggaldy ensues. This results in the wormhole going all doubletalky and sucking everyone in, excepting the Joes and Scarlet’s dad.

Meanwhile, the Joes-on-Commander bout results in an actual cliffhanger while the whole base is falling apart, Duke hanging from a catwalk atop the giant viper goo recycling vat, the commander hanging from his foot. Things don’t go CC’s way, and he falls into the goo, screaming like a little girl all the way down.

The Joes (Plus one) jump into a HISS and run out just as the unstable wormhole eats the mansion and underground facility. They drive to the Pentagon, where they surrender, with all the evidence they’ve recovered. Hawk (General Abernathy) says, “Well you need to be debriefed by my new intelligence officer. I believe you know him as ‘Breaker.’” Also in the crowd at the Pentagon are Heavy Duty and Wild Bill.

Meanwhile, many miles away, something crawls to the surface of a deep dark Scotish lake…oh, wait, it’s a tub o’ goo in the ruins of the Cobra compound in upstate New York. Anyway, CC crawls out of it, saying that he’s gonna’ start a war.

The End!

OBSERVATIONS

Freakin’ wow!

Just to recap the final score among the significant cast and recurring characters:

Baroness…………………Dead
Breaker…………………..Vindicated
Cobra Commander………Alive, but real messed up, exposed, hunted
Destro……………………Dead
Duke……………………..Not dead, exonerated
Flint………………………Not dead, but otherwise Unknown
Heavy Duty………………Convinced the Joes were on the level
Jinx………………………Not Dead, not in this ep.
Lady Jaye………………Not Dead, but she always knew the Joes were on the level
Major Bludd……………..Not Dead, not in this ep
Mindbender………………Dead
Ripcord…………………..Not dead (But still a mutated superhero)
Roadblock………………..Not Dead
Scarlet……………………Not Dead
Scarlet’s Dad…………….Undead
Snake Eyes……………….Not dead
Storm Shadow……………Off brooding somewhere, not in this ep
Tomax…………………….Not dead, not in this ep
Wild Bill………………….Convinced the Joes were on the level
Xamot……………………..Not dead, not in this ep
Zartan……………………..Unknown, Not Dead, not in this ep

In all, a bad week for Cobra.

Of course what’ll happen next year is that Baroness and Bender will pop up somewhere, at the Other end of the wormhole. I wonder if Bender will be a bald guy, and if Baroness will get metal hands? In one version of the Joe story, the Baroness was smoking’ hot, and had cybernetic hands for some reason. She took a shot to the hands in this ep, and I thought she was gonna’ lose ‘em, but no.

Destro is gonna’ be a harder one to explain, survival-wise, but, eh, he’ll be back. Still and all, this bothers me not a bit *because* the status quo has changed, the good guys won, the bad guys were exposed and are in for a world of hurt, life is good, and the show didn’t pull *ANY* punches. They would have had to in order to do a hokey cliffhanger ending, or keep the Status Quo from changing, but they didn’t. If I were any more impressed, I’d be twins.

The scene where Scarlet jumps off the balcony, grabs a cable, and tarzans over to her dad is, by far, the best animation they’ve ever done in this show.

CC said that Ripcord was the next stage in artificial human evolution, their plan was to turn all humanity into bioviper human hybrids. Why?

What happened to Flint and Lady Jaye? We haven’t seen them in quite a while. How will this affect them? It’s not like they did anything wrong, but having gone up against newly-exonerated heroes for like a year certainly isn’t gonna’ make ‘em look good. Duke’s a good guy, though, I’m sure he won’t hold any grudges, and will find Flint a nice job somewhere…

Evidently CC’s real name actually is “Adam DeCobray.”

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: This series is the best thing the GI Joe franchise has *EVER* done, and if you don’t like it, then there’s just something fundamentally wrong with you.

WILL CONSERVATIVES LIKE THIS EPISODE?

F[CENSORED]k yeah! Yo Joe!

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