Tonight- We go after the greatest war criminal of all time- and maybe Hitler, too....
Okay, this is a hard episode to recap... way too much happens way too fast. In the first few minutes, we get a retconned juvenille delinquent best friend for Rory and Amy, who hijacks the Tardis to kill Hitler. In a weird accident, they end up saving his life from a transforming robot from the future (no, not that one.... one that is actually manned by tiny little people)
Because Hitler is a lousy shot, Rory and Amy's childhood hoodlum friend gets fatally wounded in the scuffle. When she expires, she regenerates (!!!) into River Song--- except she's not River, yet. River is full on psychotic, and through a thoroughly entertaining duel of Time Lords (see Curse of Fatal Death or the climactic scene in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, only less flamboyant.
River actually wins by using one of her favorite weapons..."Sweetie". She poisons the Doctor with a venom that inhibits regeneration, and will kill him in about half an hour. Rory and Amy chase down their daughter (holding up a Nazi luncheon, btw) and get shrunk and abducted by the robot from the future (a Tesseracta, manned by 400 some little people who initially are trying to kill Hitler, but change their minds when Melody "Don't call me River yet" Pond shows up. Apparently, she's the biggest war criminal in history for killing the Doctor)(whew. Told you this episode is dense...) The Justice Droid is not very forthcoming with info, but Amy pulls rank to get a nice, restful infodump. She sabotages the Droid by exposing the teensy people to the droid's antibodies. Unfortunately, when the crew escapes, they leave Rory and Amy behind to face the antibodies. The Tardis materializes in the microscopic environment, rescuing the Ponds. At the controls, River. Oops. Melody. Apparently, the Tardis taught her how to drive it. They return to the expiring Doctor's side, where he... dies. When Melody discovers who River is, she gives up her remaining regenerations to revive the Doctor.
They leave River in the 'best hospital in the Universe', giving her a familiar blue book. We're not sure what is locked in her head and how she will turn up, or whether she's good or evil... but we do know how she intends to find the Doctor again- she begins to study Archeology.
Wow. What an incredibly packed episode. We get a clever origin for River, we get a lot of action, quite a bit of well handled exposition. The acting is evenly brilliant- with special recognition going to Matt Smith for his great physical acting. He reminded me of a young Dick van Dyke, with a better British accent.
River's story was very well done, it explains quite a bit about her. And the fact that Melody (the baby) was named after Melody (Rory and Amy's friend) is one of the first entertaining paradoxes about her. Oh yeah, we get all kinds of paradoxes, the beginning of River's "Rules" and Rory punching Hitler (and another Nazi) for additional giggles. In the Not So Giggly department, we learn that The Silence is a religious order who believes that Silence will fall when the first question is asked, and they are the ones who trained Melody to be a Doctor Killin' machine.
Is Hitler still locked in the cupboard?
Tons of stuff in this episode. Even if you aren't a big Whovian, it was all manner of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff.
Will Conservatives Like This Episode
Yes- it's a lot of fun, and completely apolitical. Unless of course, you're a Nazi, in which we don't want you around anyhow.