EPISODE REVIEW: Ben 10 Alien Force: “Time Heals” (Season 3, Episode 15)

Before we begin, I just want to point out that "Retrospeculative TV" is now a once-a-week feature, and not a Tuesday/Thursday thing like it has been. In fact, it was always intended as a once-a-weeker, but since we started it in the winter doldrums, when none of our shows were cranking out new episodes, we figured 'why not double up until the season gets rolling again?'  Now that the season *is* rolling again, we're cutting out the Thursday Retrospeculative.

Now, to celebrate no longer having to sit through new reviews of really old shows, here's a new review of an only slightly old show.

I missed this episode when it aired back in January, due to bad planning on my part (I was over at Ginrummy’s place watching “Something, Something, Something, Dark Side” and forgot to set the DVR) but as I really like this series, I’ve been wanting to go back and pick this one up as soon as possible. Alas, busy life, you know? Couldn’t get to it until now. I apologize for the convenience, particularly because this is a really above-average episode of the show.

PLAY BY PLAY

Gwen is in a black catsuit, in full-on curvy super-heroine mode. She sneaks into the library of a palatial mansion that looks vaguely Aztec and vaguely Frank Lloyd Wright (Not that the two are mutually exclusive, he went through his Aztec phase, after all). Seriously, she’s way more va-va-voom than she’s normally depicted. She steals a book, and leaves. Once she’s gone, Hex and Charmcaster walk into the library, thinking they heard a sound, but seeing nothing, they leave.

Back at her house, Ben and Kevin are pounding on the door, waiting for Gwen to let them in so they can watch “The Big Game.” She’s not there, so we get a bit of comedy until she shows up, still wearing her catsuit and a trenchcoat. Nobody notices.

Seriously, nobody notices? Not even Kevin? Ok, a bit of reality check here: 1) Gwen wears the same damn thing every day. 2) Gwen’s Kevin’s girlfriend. 3) What kind of guy *isn’t* going to notice his girlfriend is suddenly more chestacular than usual, and is wearing a bodysuit, really? (And frankly, the trenchcoat just sort of makes things hotter. I have no idea why that is, but it is.) 4) Assuming Kevin wasn’t her boyfriend, or was gay, or whatever, how the hell could he not notice since SHE WEARS THE SAME DAMN THING EVERY DAY? I mean, just the variety makes it worthy of mention.

I don’t mean to come off all pervy or anything: she’s fifteen, adults are not supposed to have dirty thoughts about her or anything, and I can assure you I’m not having any. Subjectively, however, having been sixteen myself once (though admittedly never a mutated superhero rock-and-wood-and-crystal guy), I have to say that if my girlfriend suddenly turned up looking daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn hot, and dressed all sexy-like, I’m pretty sure I would have noticed. I’m pretty sure I would have noticed, even if both my legs had been chopped off, and I was bleeding to death. I mean, that’s pretty much what being sixteen is, right? (A) try to get girls and then (B) try to get girls to tart themselves up, until they get irritated and