First of all, I would like to apologize for the lateness of this review. I really tried to get to it in the theaters, but I had just gotten the job and it just didn't get got. In the future, if I miss a movie during its theatrical run I will get it on dvd, but I'm gonna try really hard not to do that.
OK, Sucker Punch is the follow up to Zack Snyder's Watchmen and the movie that will be the direct predecessor to Superman: The Man of Steel on the Zack Snyder resume. After seeing Sucker Punch, I'm not entirely sure how comfortable I am with Zack Snyder taking on the Man of Steel anymore. But we'll get to that later.
Sucker Punch begins with two little girls mourning over their just moments before deceased mother. The step-father, upon reading the mother's will, discovers the mother has left her entire estate to her two daughters and is enraged. He gets drunk and storms the eldest daughter's room and tries to rape her. She fights back and he knocks her to the floor and locks her in her room, deciding the younger daughter would be an easier victim. The eldest daughter climbs out her window and races back into the house, where she got a gun from her step-father's study. She tries to shoot the step-father but misses and kills her little sister instead. She then tries to kill her step-father again, but she can't pull the trigger. Lo and behold, it is off to the insane asylum for our heroine (no, not that kind!). And this is all done with no dialogue, set to the Eurythmics' "Sweet Dreams" (or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof).
In the institute she is mistreated (which is also shown set to music) and eventually sent to be labotomised. Just as she is about to have a metal spike hammered into her brain through her eyeball, poof! She's in another world. A world where she is an orphan given by a priest to a brothel (wait, a brothel?) Yes, a brothel! From here she bounces to another fantasy world, fighting fighting a giant samurai before returning to her institute to plot an escape with the other hookers, um, I mean patients.
I'm not sure if I liked this movie or not. I was intrigued by it, for sure. But, I don't really know, it's just strange. I do know it isn't science fiction at all. It's fantasy. It all happens in this girl's head. At least, I think it does. I'm still not entirely sure what I saw, but I do know it kinda works. At least, when you're in that, "I want a movie that messes my mind up and makes me useless for the next three months" kind of a mood. Oh, you don't have those moods? Um, neither do I, I was just making an example...
Visually, Zack Snyder is up to par. The lighting, camera angles and production design is exactly what you would expect from a Zack Snyder movie, be it good or bad. Quality-wise, it doesn't have the coherent story structure of Watchmen, but it wasn't as boring as 300 either. And the music was fabulous. As a 2 hour music video it hits the mark. As a film, as I said, I'm still not sure what to think. I do know this much, it tends to rely too much on 12-year-old fantasies, and it leaves one wondering if Zack Snyder ever made it out of the sixth grade intellectually. I didn't hate it, and I would probably see it again, but I'm not going to race to Walmart to own this visually stunning mind-rape of a movie. Now the soundtack, that I may rush out to buy tomorrow!
Will Conservatives Like This Movie?
That depends greatly. The visuals and the music are all this film really has going for it (well that, and a really swift kick in the gonads at the end), and visually the movie tends to favor young girls either in skimpy catholic shool girl outfits, or in their underwear, which some conservatives may find untasteful. It's basically a 2 hour wet dream with great music. So tread carefully if any of that offends.