CLASSICS FOR KIDS: “Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope” (1977)

Republiboy

Ok, sure, so we all know the classics, the movies that grabbed us when we were young, but it's hard for us to think about them objectively, to recognize that they may have a different effect on the youth of today than they may have back in our day. To that end, this is the first in a series of genre classics to be reviewed by Republiboy (Age 11):

Star Wars, Episode IV - what a waste of a movie! Several of the explosions were fun, but on the most part I didn’t think it was good. It was boring me so much in the middle that I was hoping they'd all die in the trash compactor.

Luke annoyed me. I’m not entirely sure that they didn’t get someone from another galaxy long long ago, far far away - he delivered his lines just plain strangely. Princess Lea just plain…well…didn’t look right. Just wasn’t shown the way I see her in pictures. Han was ok, I actually thought he was one of the better parts of the movie. Chewie was hysterical, especially the comment of him “Tearing people’s arms off.” I must admit: that’s something most people couldn’t think of. I really liked Grand Moff Tarkin, just his mindset and personality was interesting to me. Although I’m surprised at how little he did, being in charge of the Death Star project and all. Ben Kenobi didn’t have very much personality. It seemed to me like the actor was Swedish and didn’t know English, and was just pronouncing the words he saw phonetically. Vader, of course: Not as interesting a villain as I thought, though I did like him in the last battle when he and his modified TIE fighter were destroying all the rebel ships. C-3P0 - an interesting droid. I loved how incompetent he was, and when they were in the trash compactor I liked his reaction to that when he thinks they got squashed. In the scene when R2 and Chewie were playing that weird board game, I liked when he told R2 to “Change his strategy.” R2D2: Really I didn’t feel R2 did all that much. I don’t have much else to say about him, other than he’s actually a pest like Luke.

The story was ok, it actually seemed like it would make a good plot for an hour-long TV show, but I feel they stretched it out too long.

The Death Star was interesting, I will give it that. I hated most of the scenes on Tattoine, and as I mentioned earlier, I liked the space battle at the end. I thought the Millennium Falcon was neat. Vader’s first appearance was pretty darn cool, but not as ominous as I’d thought. The Sandscrawler was sweet lookin’. I’m surprised things like that haven’t appeared in more movies. Luke’s house appeared to be bigger on the inside than it was on the outside. The scene with the two setting suns - that was beautiful. I’m surprised that they managed to pull that off so long ago. The bar had some of the worst alien costumes I’ve ever seen. The band with the, like, giant foreheads and huge eyes - I mean, they didn’t even attempt to cover up the line between the head and the costume. They couldn’t have done a worse job covering up the costume. The jump to hyperspace - eh. It was ok for its time. There were no scenes on the Death Star that I particularly liked. The fighter battle when they were escaping from the Death Star was really neat. The final battle was unbelievably awesome looking. I’m not entirely sure how they managed to do all that before computers.

The music was surprisingly good.

I did not like the movie.

Things to make it better: 1) Get rid of Luke. 2) Get rid of Lea. 3) Get a different actor to do Ben. 4) Get Vader a deeper voice. 5) More explosions, and better. 6) Make 3-PO the star, and most importantly: 8) do *not* spend your budget on corndogs. They say the money is on the screen. I know the movie had a huge budget for their day, but the special effects weren’t very good. I think they blew most of their money on food for the actors.

And that’s all I have to say about Star Wars.

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