CEREAL REVIEW: Star Trek: The Cereal

sysadmin 2.0
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I honestly didn't know if I wanted to review this cereal. So much had gone before- and let's face it- Trek had let me down. But there were so many questions: Would this cereal be tied in with the unwwieldy beast of Trek Continuity? Would it stand alone as not just a good tie in, but a great cereal of it's own?

When Republibotlet 2.1 pulled this item from the local grocery story shelf, I shuddered a bit. After all--- it was Star Trek, and it was Breakfast Cereal. The Kelloggs name at the top gave me a little hope. Kelloggs was responsible for some of the great cereals I've enjoyed in the past... but the box was light, almost without substance.
Box FrontBox Front

The colors were new and inviting, yet reminiscent of the Original Series. I nodded, and Botlet 2.1 dropped it in the Baskart. Immediately, Botlet 2.3 began with the anti-Trek epithets. "Star Trek???? Cereal?????!!!! GEEEEKSS!!!"

I sighed. He would never understand the love/hate relationship I had with Kirk/Spock.

After we got home, I looked at the box. The games on the back were simple- a flow chart to see what Starfleet job you'd be suited for based on your preferences: If you prefer to speak to a person, you'd make a good Doctor. If you prefer to Text, you're an Engineer in waiting. Not wishing to do any deep soul searching while snacking, I went to the maze. Again, very stylish- mildly inventive, but ultimately, just another maze.Cereal Box backCereal Box back

I opened the box, and pulled apart the liner. At first glance, the cereal looked like little cinnamon rolls. I was excited for a second- as I'd never seen a cinnamon roll-marshmallow bits cereal. I poured it into the bowl. The marshmallow bits came in two shapes and several colors. Unremarkable were the swirled color "planet" marshmallows, but slightly more worthy of notice were the Enterprise "Arrowhead" insignia- in red, blue and yellow- the primary colors of Starfleet specialties. I was comforted that they paid attention to this bit of continuity from the classic Trek lore, and it gave me hope.

Until I took my first bite.

Has the original recipe for Lucky Charms fallen into the public domain? I ask this, because the promising circular oat shapes that I'd mistaken for cinnamon rolls were NOT. They were mutant Cheerios. This cereal tasted just like 1966 era Lucky Charms. It was dressed up in modern packaging, but the flavor was right from the mid sixties.

I wanted something NEW from my Star Trek Cereal, not a retread of a tired old cereal.

Color me disappointed. Not recommended.