If you live in North America, and you're a vertebrate, then you've dreamed of playing guitar at one time or another. You've probably also tried, but been quickly frustrated by your own lack of coordination, or enraged by the condescending attitudes of guitarists who *clearly* don't want you to join their club, and therefore teach things in the most arcane fashion available. And don't even get me started on writing/reading music. Clearly the monks who thought that up had some serious anger issues.

There's really only three ways to get around this: