Doomed Shows

RETROSPECULATIVE TV: Battlestar Galactica (1978): “The Lost Warrior” (Episode 5, 3, or 2, depending on who’s counting)

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I think this review will be a lot shorter. I really have hopes this time out. The first one I did was long enough to be evidence of some kind of neurological impairment, but the second one was merely an exercise in hypergraphia driven by OCD. Granted, still a neurological impairment (Actually two for the price of one), but it’s a much more serviceable, much less annoying kind of crazy than the first review. And this one should almost be like the kind of thing a normal human would do.

Why?

Because (A) this is the worst episode of the entire series, and (B) nothing much happens.

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RETROSPECULATIVE TV: Battlestar Galactica (1978): “Saga of a Star World” (Episode 1) Chapter 5

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ATENTION JOYLESS CITIZENRY! You've made it! You've survived CLASSIC BATTLESTAR GALCTICA WEEK here on Republibot, though whether or not you'll ever fully recover or enjoy life and love again is a matter of some debate.

Fortunately, as I've gotten NEARLY every bit of behind-the-scenes information I know out of the way in this review/essay/master's thesis, subsequent editions should be quite a bit shorter and less grueling. Unless Maren Jensen emails me or something, and suddenly I'll end up with a lot more to talk bout. But that's not too likely.

Anyway, if you've lasted this long and I haven't yet beat all interest in the subject out of you, read on, content in the knowledge that while I probably *will* do this to you again, I probably *won't* do it any time soon. And if I have managed to overwhelm and destroy your childhood love of all things Galactican...cool! Just hang out, and our normal friday night reviews will be up a bit later.

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RETROSPECULATIVE TV: Battlestar Galactica (1978): “Saga of a Star World” (Episode 1) Chapter 4

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It's CLASSIC BATTLESTAR GALACTICA WEEK here on Republibot, and a special edition of our much-lauded "Retrospeculative TV" feature in which we go into literally nauseating detail about a show you've probably already seen so many times that you're sick of it. And do we do this for money, or for fame, or for fortune? Well, yes, actually, but there's really not all that much of any of that to be had on a fool's errand like this. No, mostly we do it because I'm horribly longwinded.

No, wait, uhm...love of the genre. Yes. We do it for love of the genre. And the lingering shards of my 11-year-old-boy crush on Maren Jensen. Seriously, hubba-freakin'-hubba!

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RETROSPECULATIVE TV: Battlestar Galactica (1978): “Saga of a Star World” (Episode 1) Chapter 3

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Welcome to our special, unaccustomed, Wednesday edition of "Retrospeculative TV," in which we take your quest for the knowledge of arcane pop culture, and punish you by not letting you go until you've smoked the entire box right in front of us, and get all sick and stuff...Because it's Classic Battlestar Galactica Week!

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RETROSPECULATIVE TV: Battlestar Galactica (1978): “Saga of a Star World” (Episode 1) Chapter 2

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Welcome To "Pointlessly Long Reviews Of Battlestar Galactica Week" here on Republibot. Sit down, pour yourself a drink, and prepare for some eyestrain, because this ain't gonna' end any time soon. (Friday isn't too soon, is it?) If you didn't read part 1, you may want to check that out before you jump in here.

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RETROSPECULATIVE TV: Battlestar Galactica (1978): “Saga of a Star World” (Episode 1) Chapter 1

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Welcome to Classic Battlestar Galactica Week here on Republibot, and our super-special edition of Retrospeculative TV, the column in which we take 30 year old piece-of-crap TV shows that no one cares about, and treat them as if they were brand-spanking-new piece of crap TV shows that no one cares about. It was only a matter of time until we got to the original Galactica, now wasn’t it? Last week, we set this up, and now we get into it:

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RETROSPECULATIVE TV: Battlestar Galactica (1978/79): Prolog

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We’re trying to do shows here on Retrospeculative TV that had a huge influence on us as younger folk, and checking to see how they hold up. Essentially we’re treating them as if they’re new, and subjecting them to the same rigors we use on modern shows. The only real criteria here is that they have to be more than a decade old and, ideally, have impacted us in some forceful way, but we want to stay away from the really popular, legendary shows. Why?

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BREAKING NEWS: Chuck is back, V is back, FlashForward is as good as dead.

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The Hollywood Reporter (No, I've never heard of it before either. Must be a local Florida paper or something) is reporting that FlashForward, the ambitious, experimental, but ultimately not-very-good SF series on ABC is dead, dead, deadily-dead.

Did I say 'dead?' That's actually a bit premature. The story doesn't actually *Say* FF is dead, but it's "Unlikely to return," this after its initial episode order was already whittled down by several hours several months back.

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Episode Review:FlashForward: "Queen Sacrifice" (Season 1 Episode 15)

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Tonight, Mark goes on a mole hunt- he gets one and misses one. How very Caddyshack.

Okay. I've been banished to the 13 inch TV, away from the family because of my devotion to reviewing this show. My family has exiled me because they'd rather watch a more entertaining show. I should be able to identify with Mark because….

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Episode Review: Flashforward:"Blowback" (Season 1, Episode 13)

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This show is flashing to the bottom of the ratings, and to it's inevitable demise.  Unfortunately, it's suddenly turned interesting.   Tonight: Aaron becomes the dark knight, Zoey becomes a screaming harpy and Mark gets another name for his corkboard.  

 

Spoilers, ho!

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