Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to our review of “Smallville.” Our regular critic on this beat - Republibot 2.0 - was having “Connectivity Problems” tonight, whatever that means, and asked me to step in for him.

Just in the interests of full disclosure, this was the first episode of “Smallville” I’ve ever seen. R2 informed me, however, that I’d probably like it because it had Zatanna in it: